4.17.2011

Half Dreams

I didn't do it.  It didn't happen. 

This morning was supposed to be my first 5K of the year...the Bellevue 5K/10K which starts and ends in the Downtown Park.  My good friend T, fellow 5K'er and partner in crime for all things shopping and all things fabulous sushi, asked me to join her and a few others to do this one.  Why not?  She and I did two last year, and we were excited to try a different route!

For some reason I had a gut feeling early on that it wasn't meant to be.  And it was for something as silly - and frustrating - as the registration process.  I went online a few weeks ago to sign up and the damn system put me in the most bizarre loop.  I kept getting prompted to register and create an account, starting with my email address.  So, after creating a new account, I got an error that my email address was already registered and that I just needed to sign in.  Huh?

OK, OK, no problem.  Perhaps I did create an account many moons ago with this registration network.  But try as I might with a handful of the standard passwords I use, no luck.  I then hit the 'forgot my password' button, but got yet another error that 'this email address is not on file - please register.'  REALLY?  And the same thing happened with three different email addresses.  So, the system was hosed.  Thankfully T registered on my behalf after I'd tried this a few times to no avail.

If you know me in real life or perhaps read my ramblings here regularly, you may recall I've been under the weather, battling a lingering cold and cough since about February.  It's pretty much gone (dang I say that every week...longest decrescendo ever eh?) but it's very apparent how it's sapped my energy level - moreso my voice.  I was talking with T yesterday on the phone to figure out timing and where we were going to meet this morning and she asked, "Are you feeling OK?  You don't sound so good."  I was feeling good, but my ravaged voice sounded otherwise.  I guess I've gotten so used to how somewhat raspy it is right now.  I told her no, I'm fine, looking forward to tomorrow and all.  And I was!

It's a little frightening how horrible a morning person I am becoming.  The race started at 8am, which meant I'd have to get up even earlier - on a Sunday - than I typically do for work, to allow enough time to drive, park, pick up my registration packet and all.  So I forced myself to bed a few hours earlier than normal, but I tossed and turned like a dumbass.  Did I have my alarm set correctly?  Did I turn off its weekend sleeper cycle so it WOULD go off on Sunday?  DUH.  I NEVER worry about that on weeknights!  Anyway, I remember this tossy/turny feeling the nights prior to 5Ks, so I tried to just laugh it off and relax.

Normally my adrenaline kicks in and I bust through my inner fog and get up.  But today, that didn't happen.  Around 6:30am or so, I stumbled out of bed and went downstairs to text T that I was a no-go.  Feeling oh so very turdlike.  But I knew deep down she would understand.  And she was doing this race with her boyfriend and a few others so I wasn't leaving her high and dry.  

Then I went back to sleep.  I had no idea how much - or little - sleep I'd gotten the night before, but I sure needed more now.  Alarm...off you go.

But in the fuzzy purgatory-ish moments between laying awake and falling asleep, I started having what I call Half Dreams.  I'm not fully asleep in a dream when these happen.  Rather I have two visions in front of me.  First, whatever I would normally see, like the bed blankets, the ceiling or the window...and then an overlay of whatever the dream scene is.  Anyone else ever experience these?  I've only just noticed them recently.  They are mostly very brief scenes of recent memories - things that have happened at work or just hanging around the house here.  And even the memory of the flashing lights in my rear view mirror when I got a speeding ticket last month.  Ha.  Somewhere there's some irony and humor about getting a speeding ticket going TO work.

I finally crawled out of bed around 10am.  Sweet freakin' bliss.  THAT cleansing sleep (and a few Half Dreams) was exactly what I needed.  And as I went downstairs a second time to start my day (Take 2!) I smiled as I checked my phone and saw T's text:  "Totally understand! Love you!". 

Now THAT'S a true friend alright. Can't wait to see her later this week and get caught up over fabulous sushi.      

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