Alrighty. This week's picture makes me cringe, but we're gonna go there anyway. Good incentive to fix this, right? This and so much more.
This is an actual wall in one of my bathrooms here in the townhouse. It's a small wall where the door is. And yeah, awhile back I thought it would be fun to paint it purple. Shitty paint job (I think my plan was to go back and do another coat with a roller like you're supposed to) but obviously I haven't.
Oh dear. I have done all of the painting here in the house myself and trust me it's nicely done (and finished)...everywhere except here. And this same purple, believe it or not, is on the inside of my front door. It's a beautiful, semi-glossy blue violet. Ralph Lauren Canyon Iris to be exact. This shot does NOT do it justice.
I remember the plan now. The plan was to paint this wall purple, to motivate me into getting rid of the God-awful (original 1980) countertop that clashes horribly with it (you can see a tiny bit of it in the lower right corner of the picture). That countertop actually clashes with life, period. And I was going to get rid of the scary dark brown door (and the others on the top floor here) and replace them with white ones like I did downstairs. I shudder thinking I made those "plans" probably two years ago or more when I was unemployed. Didn't have much disposable income, but I sure had time. But not enough time to finish as you can see. What's hilarious about this is that I have 4 sets of door hardware picked out for the upstairs - nice brushed nickel - all ready to rock, but sitting dormant in their boxes. In the hallway. And no new doors yet. Typical me...I zoom right in on accessories and mentally space out on the "big" stuff.
2012 marks the 10-year anniversary of the townhome purchase. Not beating myself up here...I HAVE done a lot to update this place. New back deck, custom wood window treatments, major appliances like the fridge, washer/dryer, stove and microwave (I'm on my second fridge; see my Refrigerator Drama post for the lovely story on that), some light fixtures and painting projects I actually finished. But it needs so much more. I am the queen of Lists, and I have always had a wishlist of things I want to do here on the fridge - decorating, new cabinets, ripping out carpet, countertops, flooring...
...but, knowing myself well, sometimes I just get overwhelmed. I forget how to prioritize, I see tons of stuff I want to do on my list (and think how much it's all going to cost) and then nothing gets done. What's the tipping point for a list to turn from inspiring to intimidating? Hmmm.
Well, it's time. Time to get moving and get this place in decent shape and out of the lingering early 1980s funk. A friend has offered to help me out with some of these projects and he's going to take a look and see what he can fix and give me some advice about things in here in general too.
Now, where did I put that IKEA catalogue...?
It's been a pretty relaxing weekend...dang, that first week back after the holidays can be a little intense. But nothing a virtual helmet and heat shield can't fix. I laugh to myself as I write this, for two years ago the New Year started off for me unemployed. And went that way for several, sometimes-very-painful months. So I suppose I should keep my trap (er, keyboard?) shut and not complain. On the other hand, maybe this is a sign that times are getting better workwise and we're back to the routine again.
I got quite a few tasks done at home including getting tons of mail sorted through, read, bills paid and everything shredded up for recycling. Dang that feels good! I am so happy that lots of magazines now have an option to renew subscriptions online instead of mailing in a check. I have a bad habit of going sure, renew me, and then I mail in one of those "bill me later" forms. Well, when you do that in October and you haven't yet paid by January...oops. Anyway, thanks to the internet I'm good to go. And I just have a couple of quick thank you notes to write for Christmas gifts and I'll be in good shape.
My mailbox goes a tad crazy over the holidays with Christmas cards, great pictures and those often-polarizing Christmas card letters. Oh how I - mostly - enjoy reading them and hearing what everyone's up to. I read and wonder wow, it's been years and years since I've seen some of these families. Where does the time go? And I giggle that I even still receive Christmas cards from people at all...the last time I ever sent out any myself was probably 1996.
Those letters! Mostly super enjoying to savor and read, but others seem rather self-indulgent and even arrogant. Blech. No thanks.
Then there's my college BFF, P. Her family Christmas letters are so full of love - love for family and for everyone - and the love just comes bouncing off the page as I read. And she always includes a hand-written very nice blurb at the end of the letter. This year's words just went straight to my heart: "I hope you know how I think of you and talk about you often. We made some great memories and though we don't talk much I still see you as a best friend." I about burst into tears of happiness....yes...THIS is EXACTLY how I feel too!
P and I were sorority sisters in college. We were not really in the same circles within the house and did not really become close friends until probably our junior year. I'd pledged as a sophomore and the group I ran with was a little different than hers. Kinda funny how even a small, liberal-arts university (with just 1600 undergrads) can still have its pockets and all, even though everyone pretty much knew everyone. But our sorority was pretty big for a small university - around 80-90 members, as were the other two houses. P and I had an apartment off campus our senior year...what an incredible experience that was for us after living in the dorms our freshmen year and in the sorority for two (spoiled with a very nice house and amazing food service compared to the dorm food). The apartment was just a short two blocks away but it might as well have been the moon. The campus is a square mile bubble of goodness in a town that, well, frankly is a little rough in patches. I've driven by where she and I used to live those two decades ago and shudder...she and I lived THERE? In that crappy apartment?
I looked through P's family pictures in the envelope - wow her kids are so incredibly cute! P does not use email a lot and only periodically surfaces in Facebook land. I thought today, you know what, I'm going to sit down and write her a letter. A LETTER!
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Or maybe a freight train. When in the hell was the last time I wrote an actual snail mail letter to a friend? To anyone?? And I challenge any of you who stumble around in here...when was the last time for you? Not a quick postcard, not an email, not a text, not any messaging in Facebook or LinkedIn or other social media. Hmmm?? For me it's probably over a year. And probably much longer than that for a hand-written snail mail letter. Oh Lordy my handwriting has declined over the years. I even remember way back it used to be common practice to send thank you letters - in snail mail - after job interviews. Nowadays things move too fast. Haven't done that any time in this century I'm afraid. Nope, email it is.
So I sit here, smiling, ready to shift gears and start writing to P. I'll think she'll love what she finds in her mailbox.
It's been quite awhile since I've had a double shot post week, so why not now? Something about the holiday season, shopping rush, the solstice...my whole world just tingles with good (and restless) energy. There's a mad scramble at work to get stuff done before the office pretty much goes quiet this week and next as people take vacation over the holidays and into early January. And for those of us still plugging away over a hot desk and laptop, well, there's that funny struggle of wanting to get more done while it's quiet, but there aren't enough people around to truly get it all done or all the right decisions made...ah, the classic dilemma, at least where I'm working right now. Years ago I used to work in the retail service management industry, and this time of year for vacation was a big ol' fuhgeddaboudit given the peak shopping season. Nope - all hands on deck save for Christmas Day and New Years Day. And today I sit here and think oh crap, I've gotta head into the belly of the beast tomorrow (meaning The Mall) and finish some last minute gift shopping.
So anyway, last week I was on Facebook. Now, how often have you read that or heard someone say that and think oh no. Right? Well, as I said when I first launched fivenineteen over two years ago, my interpretations and musings on reality are better than anything I could possibly make up. You might want to go pour yourself a glass of your favorite beverage for this one.
OK, back to Facebook now. Last week on some ho-hum Wednesday night I happened to be browsing around and saw a post from a woman I know from the church I used to attend years ago. Haven't seen her in probably 10+ years, which is kind of sad, but I don't attend that church any longer.
Her post: "You have two inboxes with facebook. You get notified of your messages; but you do not get notified of the messages in your "other" message box. Go to messages and click on it. After you do there is now the work "other" under your messages. (on the side bar). Click on that and see messages sent to you from people not on your friend list."
I thought OK, what the hell, I'll peruse over there and find this "other" folder. Man, I love Facebook but it's hard for me to keep up with all the changes and learn all the nuances and whatnot. By the time I'm home from work and on my home laptop, my brain is pretty much full and fried.
So there was the elusive little "other" folder, a tiny subfolder on my left menu bar. I clicked on it and up popped a very long list of what looked like notifications, spammy type stuff and one email from some random weirdo dude who really likes my profile. Uh huh, whatever. Delete!
Then, there they were. Not one but TWO messages from a guy I was great friends with years ago who I was no longer in contact with. Basically saying hi there, it's been forever, I'm about 92% sure this is you and would be great to catch up sometime. Oh. My. God. I about fell out of my chair!! And then I about fell out of my chair again when I noticed he had sent these emails to me back in freakin' JULY!! Holy moly...had I not seen that random post from my church friend I never ever would have even noticed that "other" folder in the Facebook message section!
My fingers flew on the keyboard. I wrote him back, still in shock to have found this folder...and his emails from months ago! Yes, yes, it's me, I'm alive...!!
So what's the story with this guy, you may wonder? In short, he is the closest guy friend I have ever had. We met online I'm guessing around late 2004 or early 2005ish. I had been in a relationship with another guy a good chunk of 2004 who I'd met through hockey. He broke up with me that fall and I admit it broke my heart and put me into an emotional tailspin of sorts. Hard to explain, and now with it being 7 years later the memories can get a little fuzzy and mushy both. While I'm not typically the type of girl who always has to have a boyfriend, something about that breakup triggered something within me. I immediately started online dating - on two different sites at the same time actually - and I THINK that might have been my first time ever doing that. Nowadays meeting people online is not anything weird, but back then it still might have been a little odd given it had not been around that long. Or maybe that's just my interpretation.
I started going out on a bunch of dates and kind of having casual, not too serious mini-relationships of sorts (and yes, hookups) with a couple of guys. I felt lost and hurt after getting dumped and was just looking for some reasurrance that I was really still desirable to men. In that timeframe, I met L, probably for coffee and dessert or something. We had hockey in common and I just remember him being nice and friendly with an offbeat and awesome sense of humor.
We went out on a couple dates and talked on the phone a few times (this is the olden days before texting became so commonplace) and somewhere in all of this we somehow realized we were better off as friends rather than dating. I'm giggling right now, because if he happens to read this at some point I'm sure he will let me know if my memory of all of this is correct or not.
Let's just say 2005 was a hell of a year. A lot of Life happened and it was intense. My grandfather passed away in early February, a month short of his 94th birthday. 13 days later my niece was born. My Dad retired. I was growing restless at my job - a company I had worked at for over 6 years at that time and I really loved it - but my new Director and I were butting heads quite a bit.
And in the spring of that year, I went through a very dark season in my life. There was legal drama involved in it too. I am not going to delve into that in here, but just know it was a very bad time for me and given I am an expert at beating myself up, combine that quirk with dark drama and I just felt very lost. I felt like my world was turned sideways or upside down...like my reality had just snapped, shifted and toppled over.
I felt lost but not alone, thank goodness. L was there for me through it all. An amazing friend and confidant he was for me. I confided in probably only my uber close friends circle and my family about what I was going through. L listened and helped keep me laughing when I needed to and gave me advice. He helped me with a few projects around the townhouse here and just was a great shoulder to lean on. And in the funny, small world we live in, it turns out another (female) friend of his has a beach house not far from where my family has had one for 3 generations. The 3 of us even went down there together one weekend. Can't help but laugh at the Threes Company-ish thing it was, but it was great.
Now somewhere in all of this, L and I started up a mini episode of Friends with Benefits. Ummmm...yeah. Don't judge, people. Yeah, whenever I hear about people getting into dealios like that I used to judge and think I'd NEVER do that. But definitely no regrets...and he and I later talked about it and agreed we would not cross that line any longer. And we didn't.
As my dark drama was finishing up that fall, I met another guy online and it got pretty serious pretty quickly. L and I shared our dating stories all the time, and he was genuinely happy for me when this one started taking off. And I was very open about my friendship with L with my new boyfriend. Nothing to hide.
But he would have nothing of it. He didn't want me to be around L and didn't want to meet him or anything. Nope. And I got grilled with ten billion questions about him too and the nature of our friendship. Now, side note here - as I've shared this recently with a few close friends - friends I've met since that era who never knew L or my boyfriend then - it's amazing the wide variety of opinions that come out. Some friends say well, you should have run the other way when your boyfriend got controlling and possessive like that early on. Others say yeah, I can totally see why he wouldn't want you having a close guy friend still in your life as you were focusing on a new relationship. It's all water under the bridge now. But I tell you, I'd never been in a situation like that before and I haven't since.
L gradually faded from my life. I'd made the decision to focus on my new relationship. He and I may have gotten into a couple of spats while this 'transition' was happening too. Again, fuzzy and mushy memories.
When I walked away from that boyfriend in spring of 2007, I kept moving forward and never reached out to L. I had great memories of our friendship and time together but never made any effort to try to track him down. Sometimes people are in our lives for a short while to make a difference, help us and then move on, and I chalked him up to being one of those.
And...life moved onward.
So. 2 days after I discovered those emails in my Facebook inbox last week I was on my way into Ballard to meet L for dinner. My God, had it really been six years? It was like no time had passed. I cannot tell you how great it was to just see an old friend and pick up right where we'd left off. Definitely no hard feelings or regrets. Just hours of talking and catching up. And a brief interlude between restaurants to walk his friend's dog - the one with the beach house near my folks'. Even seeing that dog again brought another wave of great memories whooshing back. Wow.
What a wonderful end of year surprise! Oh, and he and I are Facebook friends now, of course. He says, "hey, let's try staying friends this time, OK?"
I think that's a GREAT idea.
I admit it, I got distracted and didn't have my "homework" ready for today. Yeah, I could have crammed and tried to read and ponder the 3rd chapter of The Four Agreements, but you know what? It's not worth it. This is deep stuff that needs to be read with passion and concentration, not some lame attempt at speed reading just to feel "ready" for today's post.
So what happened? Well, I had lunch with T, one of my dearest friends. We met at Wildfin in Issaquah...she'd heard great things about it and I am always up for trying a new place to eat. I ended up having a small burger and went easy on the fries. I don't eat meat everyday but I guess I was craving red meat way deep down. After a few nights in a row of yummy pasta tossed with a little pesto it was time.
T has been attending these seminars about...understanding men. Really?? And she just raves about them - she says it's totally changed her outlook and viewpoint on dating and relationships, and has strengthened even her friendships with women too. Sounds pretty profound, eh? Wow, what's going on here? How can you learn stuff like this in a class? Led by mostly women?
She smiled and pulled a small paperback book out of her fabulous Hermes Bolide handbag. Called Making Sense of Men, by Alison Armstrong. She couldn't wait to loan it to me! Now, I admit, I'm a "black hole" book borrower (that's a self-coined term by the way). It's not intentional, but I am not a voracious book reader, and books loaned to me, well, tend to get absorbed into a bookcase here forever and ever, never to be returned again and possibly not ever read at all. I promised T I'd do my very best to not do that in this case. And she's pretty tenacious, so I'm sure if I don't return it promptly she'll have no qualms asking for it back - as she should!
Now. If you knew you were going to focus on reading the Third of the Four Agreements, but then had to choose between that and a book suddenly plopped in front of you called Making Sense of Men, what would you do? Read them both perhaps? Well, this is me we're talking about here, and given I don't do a lot of book reading, I caved and chose the Men book to focus on. Can't blame me...plus it would be less likely to end up on a "black hole" bookshelf here in the townhouse.
I didn't know how quick a read this was! I pretty much read it in one evening, and have re-read it a couple of times! Can this topic be summed up in a 70-page book? Well, of course not...we're human and complex creatures. And yeah, I've read John Gray's Mars & Venus books, the 1990s classic The Rules and a few others about dating and relationships too. All endlessly fascinating really...and anything I can learn about these creatures called men who I adore and who also sometimes drive me batshit crazy, well then all the better.
It's fascinating how entirely different we are wired. Amstrong proclaims that 99% of the confusion and frustration between men and women is because we - mistakenly - assume we are versions of eachother. "Men are not hairy women," she goes on to say! Ha ha ha that made me giggle.
She goes on to break down the two types of attraction men have towards women. The first - Sexual Attraction. Obvious, right? OK, I won't give away Armstrong's list of what goes into that - check out the book for yourself. And what does her list of sexual attractions trigger in men? They want to have sex. Period. Doesn't mean they want to date us or have a relationship with us or fall in love with us. Nope. I even remember some John Gray books talking about the same thing a little differently. If a man is physically attracted to a woman, it's just that and nothing else. This confuses us as women, because our first 'degree' of attraction in a man is if he's mentally stimulating to us (whereas in men the first 'degree' is physical). With mental attraction in a man, maybe it's his humor or intelligence that stirs us. By the time we as women are feeling physically attracted we've already gone through two other 'layers' or 'degrees' of attraction if that makes sense. So ladies, if a man is physically attracted to you, enjoy it and don't take it too seriously.
What's the other type of attraction a man has for a woman (but not ALL women per se)? Charmed and Enchanted. Aha! Who wouldn't want to be with a man who is compelled to spend time with you, take care of you, protect you, contribute to you...and make you happy? Without you needing to do anything but just be fabulous YOU? Damn, sign me up. Makes me even swoon here a little just sitting in my office chair, relishing those moments men have done those things for me. Without any need to make any effort and certainly not nag. THAT'S bliss right there.
Armstrong goes on to explain in what she calls "Men-glish" (love that) - what men say and what it means in female-speak. Things they say to us or offer to do for us when they're Charmed and Enchanted. Believe me, I'm not affiliated with the author of this book or the publishing company or anything, but if you're intrigued by my ramblings here, go pick up the book for yourself! One big key? We as women need to be receptive to these wonderful things men want to do for us! Anyone here ever have a man offer you his jacket because it was cold? And responded by a, "...but won't you be cold?" in return? No, no no!! You are not his mother...accept his generosity and snuggle in his jacket for pete's sake! Hell, I never turn down even the grocery store bag boy's offer to carry my bags to my car. Just enjoy it and smile with a warm thank you. Sure it's his job, but you've probably helped make his day too.
And there is serious "juice" required of us to be the best we can be as women. Things like being self-confident and authentic. And if a great outfit and killer pair of shoes helps you get there, go for it. Nope, we can't be self-confident fueled on emptiness like sugar and caffeine. Rest, good nutrition, exercise...THAT'S what does it. Don't forget passion...whether it's for our kids, cross-stitching, volunteer work or salsa dancing, as Armstrong explains. And RECEPTIVITY to men's offerings...the doozy! YES! If that guy asks you out for dinner and you're even the slightest bit interested, go! All you have to do is show up, look your hot self and just enjoy a great evening out. Nothing more, nothing less. Receive it graciously, ladies.
I could go on and on, but I'm just intrigued with these simple yet profound insights from Armstrong in her book. Don Miguel Ruiz, I promise your 3rd chapter is my focus this week!
The Third Agreement: Don't Assume Anything.
Oh man ohmanohmanohman...I am sitting here grinning ear to ear, sunshine streaming into the home office...and...
It's. Only. 11am!! Not noon!
Seriously, people, our flip back to Standard Time (clocks go back one hour) is my most FAVORITE time of the year. Payback...we balance the books. It's no secret DST kicks my ass when we lose that hour in the spring. I feel jetlagged that entire week, and perpetually stressed that I am constantly running late. Tired + late = bad combination.
But now, time to chill. I woke up Saturday just knowing this morning was coming. Kinda poked around the house and later, fueled by a salted caramel mocha from a Starbucks drive thru (which I RARELY do even though there is one just 5 seconds from my house), I drove out to visit my dear friend T in Sammamish. She's going to do a Silpada party later in December - an absolutely perfect time to host a party as it's prime time shopping season! Blue sky, leaves turning - ahhh anytime I need to whip out sunglasses in November I am a happy girl.
I had a major sushi craving as I was driving home, and swung by the Metropolitan Market to pick up some other groceries too. I used to commute through the Houghton neighborhood a couple of years ago when I briefly worked in Kirkland and I miss it. The Metropolitan Market is absolutely amazing, and the people who work there have their shit together. Nice, knowledgeable, energetic. You can just "feel" it when you walk in.
So I grabbed some pre-made sushi (it's actually pretty decent as they make it fresh right there in the store), got home and added an extra blob of wasabi and a few shakes of Nama Shoyu (unpasteurized soy sauce as recommended in my raw food cookbooks). Even found my chopsticks too! Bliss.
...almost as blissful as sleeping in today until 10am (which really was 11am but I remembered to turn the clocks back tonight - oops, well most of them). Funny how my cell phone didn't make the automatic change (booo) but the old, crappy laptop here sure did.
So that's about it. Just enjoying a nice, lazy weekend - hockey is the big exclamation point later tonight. Can't wait!
And the nice people at amazon.com are sending me a book that was very highly recommended by my new friend D. I'll leave it at that for now - it's on it way and I will likely have my first ever book review post in here soon!
Last week I wrote about the wave that washed over me, forcing me to sit in my chair here and finish updating my resume. I've learned to not question these super duper strong instincts when they hit - they mean it, dammit! It meant canceling on my hockey game rather last minute, and I don't like doing that at ALL, but the wave won out.
Good thing too: the resume got updated that night. And distributed.
And just a day or two later, guess what happened? Not one but THREE great job leads appeared from the consulting firm who found my current job. What a difference a year and a half makes! The job market is improving, and my phone and email are rumbling even harder back to life. I'm realizing how much more mentally prepared I will be going into my next job assignment, as it shouldn't be nearly as long between gigs as last time around...I hope. Last year I went from mental 0 to 100 literally overnight - an abrupt shock back after feeling like my brain was turning to mush with nothing going on for months and months. Now, while I feel a bit weary and ready for this current engagement to finish up, I feel more 'on'. That's hard to put into words, but it's how it came out.
My friend D's husband also forwarded my resume to a few of his connections, and I'll be meeting up with a Director at a consulting firm later this week for lunch. We had a great chat late on Friday afternoon! I'd prefer to have the firm who I'm currently affiliated with get me reassigned, but I've gotta look out for Numero Uno here. And who knows - new connections made now could sprout even further down the road for me or for another colleague.
In the meantime, I've got a job to do through the end of the month, and, well, I'm only human and it would be incredibly easy to flip the mental switch and stop caring. Sure I take pride in my work and will do whatever it takes for a strong finish. But for some stuff, frankly, I'll need to fake it. Before I knew I would be wrapping up this month, I got assigned some brand new stuff to do - and the milestones were plotted all the way into January. Why would I get assigned something new if I was going to be cut loose just a few weeks later? Anyway, the reasons don't matter, and I'm just chalking it up to even more opportunity to gain more experience in a very short timeframe. Plus, it's a small world out there and I might end up back with this team or something similar down the road.
How you finish is just as important as how you start. Don't burn bridges. Go for the Graceful Exit.
I had lunch with S, a friend I've known for years who I met through hockey. She and I really bonded a couple of years ago when I was first getting used to being unemployed. She has her own business as an aside from her full-time work, and I came with her to several events as a guest to learn more about it. It was great to get out of the house, meet new people and clean up/dress up on those days I had no interviews when the temptation was to just be a slob and mope. And I am dumbfounded that all started two years ago.
It was wonderful to reconnect over lunch again - how had it been a year or so since we last met up?
So, I'm just keeping busy and connected while preparing for whatever the next plunge might be. I'm excited, relieved, nervous, curious...the list goes on. Notice that 'angry' is not in that list of feelings. 'Cause I'm not in the slightest. This gig was designed to be purely consultative, not permanent. And while I don't like to call out specific details in here when it comes to jobs and companies, let me just say I'm perfectly happy with that arrangement. Great experience, but not anywhere to hang my hat right now.
T and I met up for dinner at Palomino last night...she is such an amazing friend. We've each gone through some bumps this year - my very brief relationship, and she and her boyfriend split up a couple of months ago...he had been living with her and so it was a rough ride with all of that and him moving out. We're both happy and strong women and always land on our feet, but we also appreciate the friendships and support out there too. So much to be grateful for.
We split a wonderful bottle of wine (the name escapes me now but trust me, a mighty fine white something), while T chose the Seafood Louie - a beautiful salad - and I the fusilli picatta, a delicious combo of marinated chicken, shallots, capers and a few chili flakes for kick in a white wine sauce.
And when you're steps away from fabulous shopping at Bellevue Square, of COURSE you gotta hop over there too. T picked out a gorgeous pair of black Tod's loafers, and I, knowing I am soon to be on a budget again, merely drooled over shoes.
T and I are brainstorming ideas for a meetup group we're planning to launch later this summer. We're super excited!
And I think "excited" is the right way to describe things for me right now. One door is slowly closing, and something new, unknown, magical is going to pop and set me on an entirely new journey this summer and beyond.
Let's just hope it's sooner than later!
May already?? Wow.
Well, it was quite a week. And how could we not recap a week without a big nod to the Royal Wedding - ? C'mon, even the most anti out there saw a few clips of it or at least the pictures? And maybe even cracked a smile? It was breathtaking. Not so breathtaking for me to feel like getting up at 3am to watch it live, but I do know of a few ladies who did get up early and have a pajama party - with their best HATS on. Love it! And pass the tea and scones, please, darling.
So, changes. Changes are good - good to refresh, re-analyze and re-group. My work assignment is getting a brief extension at least into the summer - possibly into the fall - but that still has not hashed out. Good Lord have I been back at work nearly a year? Yes indeed. All of that stress and anguish I went through prior to landing this gig won't soon be forgotten. So nice to have it far in the rear view mirror. But with a few scars...and that's OK.
Two of my closest co-workers wrapped up their assignments this week and are moving on. One won't be going too far it turns out, as she'll be joining kind of a 'cousin' team of ours, but I'll miss her 'partner in crime' that she's been this past year. Another is required to take about 3 months off - that's the rules with some kinds of contingent workers - and she is hoping to return and pick up where she left off.
I'm happy for them both but admittedly a little sad. But moreso I have a shitload of hilarious memories. Things that may have sucked before but are now funny.
I capped off the workweek with a wonderful dinner with my dear friend L at Brix, a wine bar a short drive from my house. She's a part of that circle of friends I get together with a few times a year - we're all about the same age and went to elementary school together. Unwinding over a nice pinot gris and to die for risotto was heavenly. L and I can just smile at eachother and 'know' what we're each thinking. Oodles of memories over some 35 years.
And the silver, silver, silver flows and flows. I'm taking a few extra steps in my Silpada business by doing a sort of correspondence course with a coach at the corporate offices. She sends me 'homework' each week for 4 weeks and I send it back at the end of the week. She sends me feedback, the next week's 'homework,' and we also chat on the phone during the week too.
Ugh. I know myself pretty well and am realizing where I'm doing well in promoting my business and where I suck monkey butt. I have a party next weekend that I'm SUPER excited about. And one night I met up with a good friend I hadn't seen in quite awhile for dinner and half priced bottles of wine. She asked about the jewelry I was wearing, I let her road test a few pieces during dinner, and voila - that evening I had a very nice order from her! So I feel comfortable when people approach me with questions or compliments. I've been complimented on my jewelry from random strangers in the grocery store to the cashier in one of our work cafeterias. You can bet I never go anywhere without my jewelry on and a handful of business cards. Yes, I'm learning the nuts and bolts of direct selling. It's all about connections, people! The woman who is hosting my party next week noticed my jewelry at work and it just flowed from there. You never know!
But I hate picking up the damn phone. It's no problem for me when I'm doing follow up calls to make sure people are happy with their jewelry and to answer any other questions, but just making outbound calls to people I know to talk about what I'm doing and to ask if they'd like to host parties. Well, ew. I am so not a sales person, and frankly, when I get home from work I am tired and the last thing I feel like doing is picking up the phone. I feel like I'm intruding on people's dinner time or other quality time with family. And you know I don't mean to be whiney in here because I DO love what I'm doing as a side business, but that's the area I need to really work on.
And it suddenly dawned on me why.
Email! Texting! Facebook! So much of my immediate circle communication is through non-phone, social media methods! Aha! Is that something unique to me? Or to this part of the country? I have beautiful snail mail postcards in my supplies which are used to send out reminders about parties. I don't know about any of you, but around here we stick with Evite. Is it because it's 'green'? Or technological? It's SO much easier to set up parties and have reminders sent automatically via email.
So these are some fun self-discovery things...part of the reason I chose to start this business was to get out of my comfort zone and do something I'd never done before. Same as my plunge into hockey back in 2003.
I'll be speaking during part of our monthly team meeting this week and I'm really honored to be asked. It's very informal - just sharing the tips I've learned from this 4-week course I'm doing on my own - but I really appreciate the chance to participate more in our meetings. 'Cause they're super fun!!
And now it's time to head to the bank and run other fun errands. Got a shiny new Silpada license plate frame on my car - let's see what happens!
