Do you embrace change? Or run screaming away from it? Or perhaps somewhere in between?
Change definitely stirs up flutters (or sometimes earthquakes) within me. And as the years roll by it's immensely easier for me to accept and embrace whatever it is rather than dig in my heels and bitch. After all, what's the worst that could happen? I've jumped through lots of firestorms in my life and I always land on my feet, albeit a bit bruised or burned sometimes. But always wiser and stronger.
I'm spinning in a whirlwind web of change that's inserted itself into my life since the calendar flipped to 2011. And not complaining, just trying to digest it all. Like I've said before, it's already been a hell of a year.
3 weeks ago I had a (first) coffee date that turned into 5 hours of conversation, laughter and a short walk to go get a beer and nachos. How can it be that I feel so happy and comfortable (and excited/nervous too) with someone I've known just a few weeks? Someone who dare I say it I might not have ever met were it not for an internet connection? I was thisclose to closing out my online dating membership thingy when it was up but got a "wait, we'll give you 'x' more months half price." And I caved. And wow am I ever glad I did.
There's a connection for sure. Great chemistry, great comfort. This is a warm wash of happiness I haven't felt in, well, perhaps ever.
Nope, not ever like this before.
The fun discovery of getting to know someone - all of someone. And I'm still relishing the memory of last weekend's supper club gathering at his place. Although a teeny part of me felt like an alien who was suddenly teleported into a group where everyone's known eachother for years (hence a tad nervous but hey it was people, food, conversation and most of you know how important that is to me), moreso and much moreover it was a joy.
Making plans in advance? Wow. Yep, he's asked me to join him at the next supper club gathering. Which is in early March. I don't know if he knows how much that gesture means to me. Hmmm...if he doesn't know now he soon will.
Now, let's talk hair. As in haircuts and hairdressers. Relationships with hairdressers are uniquely intimate. OK, that might not be true for guys, but I think most women will agree with me here. This is someone who touches you in ways most people don't. Not trying to be flip, funny or kinky here, people. Seriously, how many people do you let touch your hair? See what I mean about it being so intimate? And trusting someone to cut and style it - this is something intensely personal. Yet we wear our hair out in public every day. I read somewhere in a beauty book years ago to invest your money in a great haircut (and color). Because, yes, "...you wear your hair every day." Makes sense!
And after getting your hair cut every six to eight weeks by the same incredibly talented person for 20+ years, well, you get to know them. Not in a "let's go shopping someday or go on a girls' weekend in Vegas" way - at least not in our case - but still, there's a friendship of sorts there. 20+ years is half a lifetime after all.
I guess it was time for a change. I love her haircuts and her company. But I got so goddamned tired of hearing how life for her was spiraling downward into dark, uncomfortable places the past 2-3 years. Foreclosure on her townhome. Bankruptcy. A relationship that was peppered with restraining orders, drug abuse and the tense struggle to maintain their sobrieties. Death of a parent after a long illness. Is it wrong to cut things off (no pun intended)? Am I being disloyal for not sticking by her while she loses her (non haircutting) job and struggles financially? Calls me to tell me she has a new phone number because her other one got cut off? And then when I call her to make a haircut appointment a few weeks later she doesn't return my call - and doesn't have email? I can't even send a freaking postcard - no idea where she now lives. So yeah, I might be making too big a deal out of making that change, but as you can see I put some thought into it!
Yep, I think I'm breaking up...with my hairdresser.
So now there's H - a recommendation from the salon where I get my highlights done. I'd forgotten what it was like to get my hair cut in a salon (R'd been cutting my hair at my house for a decade) with someone who's happy and sparkling! I wasn't nervous at all - I guess I'd thought I would be as I told her she's the first new person to cut my hair in years. And I laughed thinking that, yep, when I first met R, H (the new hairdresser) was in preschool - she's 27 I found out. Dayum.
I gots me a new 'do. And I love it.
And then there's the work ecosystem. We've had a few recent splashes and white caps in the proverbial pond here. I am taking over a project from someone who left our group recently and am scrambling to find puzzle pieces where I'm not sure what they look like. Or they may have fallen off the table onto the floor. So I feel good that I'm being entrusted to grab the baton and run, but a little nervous too. And a few of us in our immediate team realm have had changes in their roles and titles. It's fascinating to see how this change affects each of them. We've got no change, we've got some attitude that needs to be put in check, to, well, behavior changes that reek of passive aggressiveness (major ewwwww) which disrupt what we've worked so hard to build for months in good rapport and in very close workspace quarters. I guess things are bound to flare up occasionally, but I'm one to talk things out and clear the air in the moment, not let it linger over a weekend. GUH. This is an unfinished story as I write these words and I honestly don't know how much detail I want to share here. For the words make it seem stupid and petty. Which it is and isn't. How's that for cryptic? Let me put it this way - when buttons get pushed and boundaries get crossed, watch out.
And this, my friends, is my one hundredth post. 100!! Please raise your glasses and join me in a (glass of water) toast! After all, it's only lunchtime here.
"...so how was your weekend, fivenineteen?" Not rushing things at all here for the weekend ain't over yet - still some good stuff coming up, including maybe a nap, some laundry, watching hockey (Canucks vs. Wild) and playing hockey later tonight.
Great food, drink, laughter and conversation are huge cornerstone essentials for me. And I can't blog enough about that, really - it's just so how I am I don't promise to ever stop. Hmmm...that last sentence was a little clunky but let's move on.
So when I got invited to be the Host's guest at a dinner party for 10, I swooned. Didn't matter that I would only know him and would be meeting everyone else for the first time. I shed shyness long ago. And did I mention the Host is a guy I've been on just a few dates with over the last couple weeks? OK, a few = four, including this dinner party. This is a group of incredible foodies - his incredible friends. I felt so honored he'd asked me to join. And I pinch myself to remind me that yes, it's only been a couple weeks...exciting with a healthy dose of mutual nervous. Didn't I put it out to the Universe late in December that I was tired of being single and really wanting to meet someone special? [Answering my own question...YES, I sure as hell did.] I've only turned a few pages in this story so far. No need to rush and skip ahead. Like a great meal, I'm savoring it.
And this was a dinner experience like none I'd ever had before - BONUS for I love new adventures in food. This was a potluck meal planned backwards and eaten forwards. This Supper Club meets a few times a year for a dinner like this and rotates who hosts...and there's always a different Theme each time.
Last night's Theme was Rustic French. I was blown out of the water impressed with not only the food choices, but how they were plated - simply gorgeous and heavenly.
Check out our menu!
Appetizer 1: frog legs on a bed of Arugula (yep, Host butchered himself), venison pate on toasted bread, and venison sausage with cherry-cranberry mustard. Did I mention the venison was from a deer Host hunted himself? Impressive. Check out the photo up top. OK, I sheepishly admit I was a tad squeamish about trying frogs legs (first time for everything eh?) but they seriously do taste like chicken.
Appetizer 2: Artichoke with a Dijon vinaigrette and mushrooms a la Grecque.
Salad: Arugula with sliced pear, walnuts, roquefort and mustard-walnut oil dressing.
Ready for more?
Entree #1: Coq au vin. By now the taste buds were in high gear - and each course had its own unique wine pairing as well. Love the mmms and yummms heard 'round the table...that au jus was so to die for flavorful that if it came as a lipgloss flavor I'd buy it.
Entree #2: a trio of confit on mini baguette. Olive oil poached fennel and garlic paired with fromage blanc, one with duck and the 3rd with pork. Did I mention the baguette was made from scratch too? 3 fabulous mini sandwiches.
Dessert: dulce de leche-topped cheesecake, served with shortbread and 3 apple slices.
Whew. And thanks to D, fellow guest (and food blogger extraordinaire), for documenting this amazing experience and for the pic above - yep, I'm shamelessly perma-borrowing it plus some details I'd missed about our food.
And while there's much more that happened after the last bite was savored, the last bit of wine enjoyed and the last guests had gone home, I'm gonna play the discreet card. Let's just say there was a lot of lingering 1:1 over coffee this morning.
"...so when can I see you again?" Words that make me smile and melt my heart. The answer is Tuesday and there will be some (hopefully fantastic) chowder from one of my favorite recipes - potatoes, fennel, a little cayenne pepper sauce and...bacon.
My turn to host - and I can't wait.
Hoo doggy, 2011, you blew in fast and furious. It's already been a hell of a year...and we're only 9 days into it.
Ever have really cool AND really tragic things happen right on top of eachother? At the same time? Enough to where you kinda feel guilty about feeling the good feelings while processing a tragedy? My brain's been doing 180 degree flip flops and I'm exhausted. I don't even know if it's a good exhausted or a bad one. It just is.
We lost a family member this past Tuesday...my cousin's ex wife to be specific. P was a beautiful blue-eyed blonde with the kindest heart imaginable. A loving mother of two incredible daughters, 14 and 11. Alcoholism caught up with her and she was rushed to the hospital on Christmas Day. We thought she'd somehow pull through - God, we prayed and prayed...but after a few days her liver failed and she passed away. At 41. I still can't believe it - writing these words feels so strange. Even Facebook went silent for me and family members...it just felt wrong writing about other things in life while we mourn.
I had a very, very vivid dream about P the night I found out she'd been hospitalized. She and I were kind of floating around in the air from our shoulders up while having a conversation - sounds really weird but it's one of those dream-y things that's perfectly normal in your dream. I wonder if that was her way of saying goodbye. I hope - know - she is at peace. P, we miss you.
A chilly and gloriously sunny New Years Day, topped off with brunch with my friend J, her boyfriend and her folks here visiting from Calgary for the holidays! Somehow I was able to curb my emotions (P was still alive) and enjoy the afternoon, even sneaking away a couple times to make some phone calls to my family while J, J and her parents and I were strolling around outside shopping. I told J what was happening later...still in disbelief about it all.
Sunday night hockey...great way to greet the New Year and restart the Engines of Routine. Know how things get all wonky and off schedule during the holidays? For us at work it's a slow period, and with Christmas gatherings and all it's its own bubble of Unique in late December. Felt really good to get back on the ice again and start blasting away at the 5 lbs I probably gained with all that holiday food eating and not much exercise.
January 3rd was a holiday - a delicious Bonus, really. So nice sleeping in after a late night of hockey.
OK, everyone, have you ever met someone new and ended up talking for about 5 hours...when time just kinda stops and you just fall into your own world? Guhhh...I think I made some pseudo-sorta-pact with myself that I would avoid writing about my dating life, but I've slipped up in prior posts and guess I have now here too.
I'm not even sure. Not sure how much to write about here or just keep to myself. Not sure what's going to happen. Just sure that Discovery is a red hot aphrodisiac...with a nice slice of Anticipation on the side. Hmmm.
And while I take in the lows and the highs I sailed through the weekend - birthday celebration / Happy Hour with my great friend P who is freshly back from a couple weeks travel in Belize (heavenly...I could feel the sun and warmth radiating from her and her amazing pictures too!) And yesterday with new and old friends - first jewelry show of the year and it was a huge success - lots of fun and about $1100 in sales for ol' fivenineteen here.
Tonight's hockey and hopefully a sound sleep. This week's gonna be a busy one at work but I have lots to look forward to otherwise.
And I just peeked at our work holiday calendar - it's gonna be a long haul till Memorial Day.
Happy New Year!
Sometimes blogging inspiration arrives in the most random weird-ass ways. I've probably written that before, but I'm proven this time and time again.
I stopped by the grocery store on Thursday to pick up a few things in anticipation of being icebound for a couple of days. Didn't we just have the Pineapple Express - heavy rains and some flooding earlier this month? We're now back to super duper cold and snow. Which I actually do prefer over rain and flooding and Lord knows my (sometimes-flooded) garage does too. And while the ice and snow is beautiful alas it's a bitch to drive in here in our hilly and ill-prepared area of the Seattle suburbs. I attempted a drive into work that morning after the snow arrived. Normally if my steep driveway and the road on my main street are fairly clear that's a good sign the work commute is going to be alright.
Not so much on Thursday. By the time I got within a mile of work the 4-lane arterials were icy and my car fishtailed on a few turns. I'm no SUV driver and not one to be a super hero out there on the roads either. So my co-worker and I agreed to leave the office early that afternoon before it got dark and froze up yet again to finish our workday at home.
I stopped by the gourmet cheese section at the Red Apple Market on the route home and looked through all the selections. I laugh and remember when I tried going vegan - or maybe part-time vegan - maybe a year and a half ago or so? I have a few vegan cookbooks in my kitchen and they might look impressive on display but are seldom used now. However, many of the main courses are great side dishes. I decided that while a vegan diet is super healthy, my love of cheese and of seafood trumps any efforts to fully convert. Hence, my snooping around in the Brie.
And then *ping* - one of my earrings fell out of my earlobe and right down deep into the bottom of the display! I'm glad I was alert and noticed otherwise I would have been totally bummed. So I tore apart the display (err, sorry) and carefully pulled out my earring...phew! Gotta be careful with this style I haven't worn in awhile - earrings on French wires, as opposed to the posts I usually choose. At least they weren't super expensive.
So, there is soooo much to reflect back upon in 2010. My '10 calendar has already hit the recycle bin and a fresh new '11 one (full of beautiful tropical beach scenes) is up here in the home office ready to rock.
A few 2010 standouts:
- I gave up Diet Coke cold turkey on 1/02/2010 and have NEVER regretted it nor ever looked back one second. YES! Gone is that 25+ year 6-or-more-can-a-day habit!
- WORK. Getting freaking back to work. I started off the year unemployed and didn't get back to work until my birthday, May 19th. What a fucking roller coaster of great connections, support, let downs, glorious interviews, a few months pro bono/part-time to help a colleague launch a consulting business and working that phone and email. Draining my unemployment benefits fund dry meanwhile, and, frankly, sweating it on a few occasions. Let's hear it for 2011 to be a year of steady employment, prosperity and continuing to grow professionally while rebuilding those savings!
- Falling sheetrock and down allergies! Huh? Check out one of my archived February posts. I had a very brief relationship that inspired probably one of my funniest posts yet to date here in fivenineteen. Hell, at the time it wasn't funny but putting the fingers to the keyboard helped me get through the aftermath.
- River rafting day trip in July: I joined my friend J on a guided trip down the Wenatchee River and it was extremely memorable and hilarious. Again, check the blog arichives. I am SO ready to do another rafting trip next summer!
- New hockey team! I made a shift after 7 years to a newly-formed team this fall season and couldn't be happier. I love my former team however my playing ability just wasn't keeping up as they moved up the league ranks. Just shows how the Universe takes care of what we need. I was wondering one day how to hook up with a new team and then one day later got an email asking for volunteers to form a new team. And, voila.
- 3 5Ks! THIS is a tradition I plan to carry over into 2011 and beyond and have to thank P for lighting this pilot light within me in 2009. I ran 2 5Ks and walked one as a volunteer. And I can't WAIT to get back into training for another one this next year. One of these days I will run one in under 30 minutes - mark my words.
- Getting through the big home repairs. Let's see...this year I had to replace my garage door opener, my cell phone, my fridge and a few expensive parts in my furnace. All while being out of work for nearly a year save for a couple months at a lower-paying but very worthwhile engagement. GUH. The wallet took it hard in the short and curlies this year, but I MADE IT THROUGH. And I will never EVER take for granted seeing the furnace at 68 degrees. Or that motor kicking on so very gently. Bliss.
- Doing something new: a new side business! What happens when you love accessories AND want to accelerate how quickly you rebuild savings? Why, you start a jewelry business, of course! And as many of you know, that's Silpada Designs for me - a jewelry brand I have known and have adored for many years. I am proud to now represent the line and am enjoying learning the ropes as a rep, meet the rest of my team and get my initial round of parties booked!
- A Full Year of fivenineteen! What sprung out of unemployment and restlessness back in September 2009 has now turned into a regular ritual for me. Who knows where this could lead? If it goes somewhere, great. If it stays like this, great too. It's ME and an outlet I cherish. And I adore all of you who tune in regularly or might find me here on a random search. Whatever fivenineteen evolves into next, it's a great journey - thank you for being here with me on the ride.
My best to each of you for an adventurous, wonderous, restful and peaceful New Year.
Family + Food = Fabulous Christmas Holidays. And some hard workin' pants zippers over here. Oh boy.
Yep, I'm stuffed. Between Christmas Eve dinner and last night's Christmas dinner this girl is happy. Too bad I didn't snap a couple pictures with my phone to get the real shots; this picture from the nice people at epicurious.com will do just fine.
How does baked halibut with spinach and artichoke sauce sound? With wild rice on the side? And a salad starter with fresh pear and dried cranberries? This is one of my Mom's signature holiday dinners and it's to die for. And even better given my Dad caught the halibut on a fishing trip in Alaska over the summer. We polished off dinner with homemade biscotti and fudge for dessert. YUM.
Why is it that after a huge, satisfying dinner I'm hungry the next day? Since this "next day" was Christmas Day this was a good thing. Off to my Aunt and Uncle's house for their fabulous annual dinner tradition: prime rib with Yorkshire pudding (which is kind of like popovers). And Mom's famous seafood lasagne with shrimp and artichokes. We had spinach salad with sliced red onions and some heavenly vinaigrette for a starter (I NEED this recipe something fierce), a side dish with crisp, fresh green beans and then peppermint ice cream pie with drizzled chocolate sauce for dessert. Homemade ice cream, everyone. Isn't this sounding incredible? My mouth is watering just remembering it all.
I feel very fortunate having incredible cooking talent in the immediate family here. I like to think I'm a pretty good cook but given I don't entertain on the scale a lot of my family does I guess some of my talent lies a little dormant. Although I do have a butt-kicking corn chowder recipe with potatoes, fennel and bacon and a paella recipe I'm dang proud of.
Tonight I'm thinking it's gonna be linguine with shrimp and pesto...and maybe a nice glass of pinot grigio. With just me at home in my PJ's watching the Canucks game (ahhh, Boxing Day!) and later the latest Real Housewives of Atlanta episode. Yep, I'm hooked.
OK, I'm trying to get in the mood to write this post but we've got amazing, bright sunshine pouring in through the windows right now. But not complaining one iota....especially since it starts getting dark so early this time of year.
Dark dark dark. Get up when it's dark, go to work in the dark and drive home in the dark. When it's grey, dreary and dark it's like living in a black and white TV set! And my eyes feel dragged down and tired. Hard to explain.
But the deep rhythms of changing seasons are fascinating to me. No matter how rushed and busy we have become over generations, no matter how much new technology gets infused into our lives...the seasons chug along the same way they have for probably millions of years.
I rush around to various parties and search for just the right Christmas gifts. Yet deep within me there is a sense of Still. Of Iciness. And of Calm. This is the bottom of the big roller coaster of our seasons. Summer tips over to Fall and whooshes down to Winter. Then, we climb out and back up again to Spring. I know people who literally whoop with joy when the Winter Solstice passes, for that means the days will slowly start getting longer again. Me? I just take it all in stride and enjoy the uniqueness of each time of year. Yeah, so it gets dark at 4:30pm - who cares? In a few months it'll still be light out at 10:00pm.
THIS Solstice will be a doozy, for there is a full Moon AND a total lunar eclipse! How fascinating! I admit, I'm a geek about stuff like this...I'm really excited to witness as much of it as I can, and pray the clear weather holds so we can watch! I actually have a super late hockey game Monday night (an 11pm face-off, yikes), so by the time we are done the eclipse should be in progress. And because it's the Solstice the moon will be super high in the sky. I can't wait to see this! And I hope I can stay awake. I've already warned my co-workers I have a late game and will likely be in a fog the next day.
But it's the holidays and where I work now the last couple of weeks of December are both quiet and herky jerky. Lots of people take the entire two weeks off, while others take just one. Either way, not much gets done. As a consultant, I'm going to be on duty the entire time save for the Christmas and New Years holidays, but you know what? I'm OK with that. I had a ton of downtime earlier this year when I was out of work. I'm looking forward to a couple of weeks of catching up and getting things organized for next year.
And...time to reflect and make goals for 2011. This year has been a roller coaster, kind of like those seasonal rhythms I mentioned earlier. But I hope my own personal roller coaster calms down and stabilizes.
2010, love you but you were a big bitch too. I'll have more on that in next week's post.
Wow. OK, it's not technically winter yet - we're about a week away from the Solstice but work with me here.
Remember how a couple weeks back we had record cold and my furnace crapped out? Fast forward to yesterday and we're now 30 degrees warmer and getting slammed with heavy rain. And all that wonderful new snow in the moutains - heaven for our skiers? Melllltingggg...which makes the flooding potential that much worse. This phenomenon is called the Pineapple Express - warm air from the tropics swoops in. Most of us here call it a major pain in the ass. I need to run a couple errands and joke I'll probably need a rubber raft.
But hey, the holiday season's in full swing!! My tree's up (oh the joy of a faux tree, takes 3 seconds to set up), all decorated and I'm going to spend this afternoon wrapping a few gifts. I've got quite a bit more shopping to do but everyone on my list is local or will be here in town for Christmas, so no mad rush to get things shipped.
Had a lot of fun shaking up the routine last week with 3 nights out in a row! A co-worker suggested we get our nails done the night before our company Christmas party and she had a coupon for her favorite nail salon. I'd never been but noticed my chipped nails (hey, it was from hockey - ya gotta take a few for the team sometime) and thought sure, why not?
Full mani and pedi with an arm and leg massage for $28! WOW. I think the prices at the spa I go to for nails or waxing or brow tinting start at that and go even higher. I was impressed with this nail salon. No waiting when we walked right in!
Our company holiday party was at Wild Ginger at the Bravern. I've blogged about the Bravern before - a wonderful jewel of shops, offices and condos in downtown Bellevue. Long gone is the Dairy Queen and the dance studio where I took ballet as a kid on that prime piece of real estate. Major upgrade! Wild Ginger is wonderful Thai food, injected with pacific northwest influences. Thai fusion I suppose. Whatever it is, it's great. Our consulting firm had a fabulous private area with a buffet, full bar and lots of room for mingling and conversation. Floor to ceiling windows with amazing views of downtown Bellevue. It was very intimate and lively at the same time. Just a great way to reconnect with the people at this consulting firm and celebrate all the help they've put into getting my current work assignment all set up. Can you believe it's been 7 months now? I've been in touch with them for over 3 years; tenacity pays off!
As I've probably mentioned before, great people, food, drink and conversation is pure bliss for me. Doesn't matter if I know everyone in the room or none. I just enjoy the small talk, laughs and networking.
Some how I made it through the next day (Friday) on pure adrenaline. And 3 cups of coffee. I didn't get to sleep until probably 2am - I was so invigorated after the party I didn't realize it was around 11pm when I'd left!
After work it was girls night out with 3 of my co-workers. We met at Parlor Billiards at Lincoln Square for drinks and munchies and then headed to the skybridge overlooking Bellevue Way for the snowflake lane celebration! During the holidays they do a nightly show with a drum corps all dressed up like toy soldiers parading through the streets and drumming along to Christmas music. And the light show on the buildings around Bellevue Square and Lincoln Square are amazing! And of course...(fake) snow! Funny how we had our own REAL snow back in mid November. It was a beautiful night - not raining at all. Yummy dinner at Palomino with a nice glass of Pinot Gris and believe me this girl was beyond satisfied. And stuffed.
Yeah, it's the parties that get me in the holiday spirit. Oh and the music, big time. I just put a bunch of Christmas music in the CD player. When I sing along I almost feel like I'm transported back in time. I feel 25...or, maybe 9. I remember singing and later learning to play a lot of Christmas songs on the piano. I close my eyes and can picture all those piano music books piled up at home. The Nutcracker music. Piano duets I played with my Mom. And the choral arrangements in high school and college. The 15 years playing in our handbell choir at church. Yep, music resonates at the core of my being. And I feel very fortunate and blessed to have had incredible teaching and inspiration through my family, my teachers and conductors.
So, the year is winding down and it's time to focus on the plans and joys for next year while drinking in and enjoying every second of the holidays. I'll have a lot more to write about this later for sure.
Whatever it is you celebrate, enjoy the magic and wonder of the Season!
