3.12.2010

"I admire how positive you are."


You know, I've been told that or variations of it for most of my adult life. And I'm glad that people out there see me in general as a positive person. Sure I have my down moments and bad moods but through it all I try my best to look on the bright side of life and find the humor in the unexpected, unplanned things that can plop in along the way. And I think I've done a pretty good job weeding out negative, toxic friendships and relationships. There's a huge difference in a good old fashioned gossip or bitchfest with girlfriends versus being in the company of someone who's always pick-picking, hating on or criticizing anything and everyone around them. No thanks. NEXT!

Is the glass half empty or half full? Well, my signature response is "THE CUP OVERFLOWS WITH HAPPINESS." . And I truly feel that in my entire being. But let's face it...even the glass needs some timeout for a good cleaning.

I've felt a few more bumps along the job hunting path as I didn't get picked for a couple of different positions I thought went really well during the interviewing process. But I have to just chalk it up to more experience under the belt and that in the end it wasn't meant to be and there's something better out there. It's SO HARD to remember this in the short term because let's face it - it SUCKS to be rejected. "The Manager has decided to look at other candidates." Mmmmkayyy...I guess that's a diplomatic way to say 'thanks but no thanks.' And it's SO HARD to get specific feedback as to WHY sometimes. Were my job skills not up to snuff? Was my personality not a good fit? Something intangible chemistry-wise that turned off the hiring manager? Hard to say. And often times it has nothing to do with anything I said or did, but rather it could be politics or just that some other candidate had a certain something that I didn't. See how easy it is to get sucked in a swirling spiral of doubt and wondering?

How do I get through this? Well, I try to carve out a set amount of time, say, an hour or two for a pity party and then after that MOVE ON. This really works for me. Otherwise I find myself constantly dwelling on feeling down about whatever it was waayyy after the fact.

I saw a few recent pictures and was shocked at how much I've aged in the past year. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself but I see more crinkles, drier skin, some weight gain (UGH) and my hair is so much thinner than it used to be. Good thing it was pretty thick and wavy to start with. And a couple sprinkles of zits still. That's the "zits AND wrinkles" bonus they never told me would happen in the early 40s. Surprise!

Anyone know of that phenomenon where someone anorexic looks in the mirror and sees themselves as "fat" even when they are dangerously, painfully thin? I swear, I have the opposite problem!! I "see" myself as one way in the mirror but then am totally surprised how the pictures look. Maybe I'm just not very photogenic. No biggy there. I guess I'm just used to looking past my somewhat larger size these days and the double chin that plays hide & seek depending on the angle.

So let's move off the narcissism...I got reminded yet again that if I relax and breathe and let the Universe wash over us (yes that's 'wash' not 'watch') we DO get exactly what we need when we're supposed to. Yeah, I was bummed about that job rejection yesterday BUT coincidentally (or not?) I had a fabulous lunch with 3 friends/former co-workers already scheduled. And later that afternoon another friend called me to kill time on her commute home from work...and then that night I trotted over to a friend's house in sweats to giggle together watching TV (LOVE the Real Housewives series on Bravo!). You know, pinot grigio and popcorn isn't the most nutritious dinner, but it was spot-on perfect for that night.

What was it that I needed during that downer day? Support from wonderful girlfriends, time out of the house and off the computer...and lots of laughter.

Consider the "cup that overflows with happiness" freshly-washed and ready to rock.

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